Confessions of a SAHM.

I remind myself every day that I’m blessed to stay at home with my kids. EVERY.DAY. I know what it’s like to be a working mother and a stay-at-home mom – they’re both hard. It has been a little over two years since I quit working and I worked as long as possible before having Dominic – up until six days before he was born. The decision not to go back to work was a tough one. My career was on an upward trajectory and I enjoyed the people I worked with. My job was high stress, but it was very gratifying to see a project come to fruition. Now, the only things I see come to fruition are poop cribs and tantrums….kidding.

When I was a working mom, I was a dreamer. I dreamed (or dreamt?) about what it would be like to be a stay-at-home mom. Taking my well-behaved kids to lunch with my other mom friends. Chatting on a park bench with my BFF while the kids safely play. Getting a fantastic workout in without having to be called to the daycare to change a poopy diaper. I didn’t realize that not working would be so much work!

I have to remind myself that I’m blessed because if I don’t other feelings can creep in. What other feelings? I’m not quite sure how to describe them. Loneliness? I know I’m not alone all day, but adult interaction is a rarity. Jealousy? My husband gets a second life outside of me. He goes to work where he gets to use big words and make friends. Unfulfilled potential? I have skills beyond mothering, cooking & cleaning – I should be doing more than this. Boredom? I’m busy, but I’m not. Clean the house, make dinner, help with homework…those things can get pretty redundant day in & day out.

So, I often remind myself that I am blessed. I’m blessed because by missing out on adult interaction at work, I got to see Dominic’s first steps, hear him speak new words, watch the funny way he dances, pickup Aurora from school, be the first person to hear about her day, treat her to an afternoon Starbucks so I retain my Cool Mom card, and so many other wonderful things. I missed out on a lot with Aurora because I worked the first 10 years of her life and I’m grateful that I don’t have to miss out on more. I’m blessed because I have a house to clean and children and a husband to feed. I’m blessed because I don’t have to put on regular clothes in the morning if I don’t want to. Sweats are SO comfortable. I’m blessed because if I wanted to go back to work tomorrow, I could.

Being a stay-at-home mom is only a season in my life. I need to enjoy it while I can. My kids won’t stay young forever and my husband is an at-will employee (shout out to my HR friends) who could lose his job at any time and the priviledge of staying at home could be taken away.

 

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